Well,
I am currently in the process of writing another blog post, but I had to interrupt
it as I encountered the notorious (in my own little world, at least) Little
Quirk #2. Welcome to my list, odd little personality trait. Here comes your analysis.
Little
Quirk #2: I am a listener first, and a speaker second. Since the beginning of
this class, we’ve been encouraged to “join the conversation” about writing
center theory and practice, but I am the type of person who wants to do
extensive research and know what others have said before developing my own
opinions or theories on a subject. I somewhat obsessively aim to consider all
possible perspectives before deciding on my own, which makes it very difficult
for me to speak impulsively. Throughout high school and now into college, I
have been mistakenly labeled ‘shy’ because this little quirk keeps me from
immediately sharing my thoughts in class. However, I love class discussions and
would definitely consider myself to be an active participant; I just really try
to make my contributions count. It can be frustrating for me to attempt to
share my thoughts before I believe they are fully developed with all sides
considered (this is where quirk one and two come together). I’m doing my best
to adapt to a more spontaneous method of speaking when it becomes necessary,
though. I think this desire to extensively develop my thoughts before sharing
them is the result of my open-mindedness—a common idea in Chinese philosophy
explains my predicament well: when a person declares that something is ‘good,’
they are therefore implying that something else is not ‘good’ (ah, the problems
that arise with distinctions). In other words, as an open-minded individual, I
do not want to write off any other possible perspectives that I have not yet
considered by declaring my position too early. Of course, it would be easy for
someone to argue that there is nothing wrong with changing your mind, and I
wholeheartedly agree. Still, I would rather not be forced to make a decision without considering all the facts.
Bringing
this quirk back to English 242, though, I must add that I truly appreciate being
given the opportunity to examine various theories and methodologies before developing
my own pedagogy and working as an advisor. On a slightly different note, I think this open-mindedness and desire to consider other perspectives will actually be useful in writing center work. I will definitely be able to understand students who come in torn between opposing sides of an issue, and it will not be difficult for me to consider beliefs or opinions that differ from my own (although my own thorough consideration of that second statement requires me to mention that there may be very, very rare exceptions).
I am undeniably an advocate of informed
action, in case you all haven’t figured that out already.
This is interesting for you to bring up, because I often find myself regretting the fact that I am the opposite. That is to say, I have too much to say and I say it all, whether or not it's a fully developed though. Often I find that, even in the process of saying I think one thing, I end up thinking something entirely different. Although i like being able to talk through things, because it really helps me to gain an understanding, I worry that what I see as a process of changing my mind and rethinking will be seen by others as unintelligent contradictions and backpedaling. I sometimes try not to talk in classes just for this reason. I have actually tried to sit and examine all perspectives and not speak until i KNOW I have something really worth-while to add. Usually though, I get too antsy. I think I need to find a happy medium, but then I may also just be being over critical of myself.
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